When our daughter was born, I asked my husband if he would write his version of the experience, so that I could know what it was like for him, and one day she could too. In our search for a homebirth, we became aware of the fact that there are endless stories by mothers, but so few by fathers, and we thought that perhaps having a man’s perspective would help a father somewhere. So, go make a cup of tea, sit in a comfy spot, and take the time to read his story…
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Guilty, as charged
The morning before Kyra was born, I started having strong contractions around 4 am. There were people sleeping in the lounge, people sleeping in the nursery and Martin sleeping in the room, so the only place I could go to ride out my contractions was the bathroom. I sat on a large blue exercise ball doing figure of 8’s with my hips and listening to Assemblage 23. I had the laptop on the toilet, and I wrote a two-page letter to my at that point sexless, nameless baby. I want to share an extract from it:
10 ways you really know you’re a mom
- When you run your fingers through your hair and find a wet clumpy bit with regurgitated milk in it – you know you’re a mom
- When you take off your shirt to find you’ve had a streak of baby sick down your back all day – you know you’re a mom
- When you’ve been up since 3 am but your baby cuddling in the nook of your neck still makes it worth it – you know you’re a mom
- When you’ve changed more nappies in a day than panties in a week (just to clarify, about 10 on a 1-month old!) – you know you’re a mom
- When the first song that comes to mind is a nursery rhyme – you know you’re a mom
- When the second song is still a nursery rhyme – ditto
- When your heart melts and you feel unspeakable joy at a toothless grin – you know you’re a mom
- When you feel actual pain when your little one inexpicably cries – you know you’re a mom
- When you’ve looked at the same hands and feet for a month (or more) and you still feel awed by how small they are – you know you’re a mom
- When most of your thoughts are of nappies, body fluids, leaking milk, lack of sleep, and annoying children’s songs but the smiles, the cuddles and your baby’s eyes staring in to yours make it totally worth it – then you really know that you are indeed a mom.
Let me check my calender
Being a mom really is a full time job. I’ve mentioned this before – feeding alone is like a 9-5 with a lunch break! But apart from nappy changes, feeding, expressing, bottle washing, washing laundry, hanging laundry and when you have a free minute doing non baby stuff like vacuuming the floor or cooking dinner, there are a lot of other things for moms to do.
We have a baby crusher in our midst
I am blow-me-out-the-water exhausted today. I’m not really sure why, because I had relatively good sleep last night, with just two brief wake ups to latch Kyra on for feeding. The benefits of cosleeping (YES, I said the “C” word!) seriously outweigh the one negative, in my opinion.