Category: Gentle and Positive Discipline
We’ve all heard of time outs, right? The naughty step? It’s the super nannies’ (who often have no children of their own and so can’t comprehend the emotional aspect that comes with disciplining a child) control tool of choice. But it’s not one I myself like. Seeing, or worse, putting my child in distress tightens… more
If there was a soundtrack to my life, the last week or so would have a ghostly echo pounding through a driving bass line. The ghostly echo would say one word, over and over again: “Mindful, mindful, mindfulâ€. My mother will tell you I’ve always believed that we have the ability in ourselves to change… more
My little girl is two years old. In most circles, that fact is normally followed by ghostly ‘oooh’ sounds. That bothers me. It bothers me that there’s an assumed reaction to becoming two years old. It bothers me that an avalanche of bad behaviour is prophetically cast over wary mothers and unsuspecting toddlers. It bothers… more
My favourite piece of writing* in pretty much all of literary history is the poem ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling. There’s something about his admonitions to his son that speaks to my very heart, and the phrases: “IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If… more
Blackmail is a crime. I think we’d all agree with that. Emotional blackmail is abuse. Again – we all agree. So why on earth would anyone offer emotionally blackmailing a child as a suitable option/alternative to smacking? A mother asked on a parenting group the other day what she could do about her very destructive… more
Do Christianity and Attachment Parenting go hand in hand? I’m sure we’ve all heard that Jesus was breastfed, and I’m sure we’ve all heard the Christmas story enough to know that Jesus co-slept, at least until the wise men came. But my question is this: What would Jesus think of Gentle Discipline? more
One day I sat in an adjoining room to where my husband and daughter were. I didn’t know particularly what they were up to, but at one point, a full few minutes of the ‘conversation’ was her Daddy saying ‘No, no, don’t touch that. No Ameli, put that down. No, no, I said no’ and… more
…but words will never hurt me? Well that must be the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. Whoever first said that was surely never on the receiving end of painful words, harsh verbal onslaughts or cruel jibes. Whoever said that probably never went through putting on a brave face in public before making a hasty withdrawal… more
I grew up with plenty of aunts and uncles. In fact, every man or woman in our church, our school, my parents’ friendship circle and parents of my friends were by default either ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’. Even a total stranger was referred to as such. In fact, as a child, anyone more than about ten… more
I grew up with plenty of aunts and uncles. In fact, every man or woman in our church, our school, my parents’ friendship circle and parents of my friends were by default either ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’. Even a total stranger was referred to as such.
In fact, as a child, anyone more than about ten years older was ‘Aunty So-and-So’ or ‘Uncle So-and-So’. As I grew older and into a teenager that gap became larger. Someone ten years older could be called by their first name, but anyone old enough to be my parents or grandparents were still respectfully addressed as ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’. As an adult there are bitterly few people I now address in that way, but I still understand respecting my ‘elders’, and someone who isn’t my ‘chum’ would be ‘Mr X’, ‘Mrs X’, or even, perhaps still, ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’.
I find it strange then, to be raising my child in a culture where people smile and tell me how old fashioned I am when I refer to them as ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’. I understand that she doesn’t yet understand the title, but starting as I mean to go on, I feel it is so important for her to learn from the beginning how to be respectful.
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