|May 11, 2010||Posted by Luschka under Attachment Parenting, Carnival of Natural Parenting|
Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
I often think of salmon, swimming upstream. I think of how hard it must be to swim against the current all the time. How tiring. I guess if it were one single fishy, swimming up river, it would be an impossible task, but for a school of them, swimming together, fighting the current as one, the tired riding in the slipstream of the strong, it’s a different story.
I never intended to be an activist on anything, least of all things relating to children.
Honestly, I’m so non-confrontational, my poor husband almost has to pick a fight to find out why I’m in a bad mood sometimes. I think more than half of any problems or arguments we’ve ever had were because I ‘don’t want to talk about it’.
That, and the fact that I’ve never had much to do with babies (no, really. At seven months pregnant an acquaintance at the hairdressers asked me to hold her three month old while she had her hair done. I held her like a dirty football, terrified as I didn’t know what to do with ‘it’).
So it came as quite a surprise to me when I developed extremely strong feelings about certain aspects involved in not only childbirth, but also in the act and being of parenting.
When I became ill early in pregnancy with Hyperemesis Gravidarum and my GP let me down terribly, I began researching and reading everything I could. This led to research on birthing, and later on natural parenting, natural healing and natural living. Having a child really has changed my life, but not in the way people normally mean it.
After the birth of my daughter, a beautiful home water birth, I felt so ‘full’ of information that I didn’t want to lose, but couldn’t keep repeating to every new mother or pregnant woman I happened by on the street, so I decided to write about it. It has been exceptionally cathartic, this blogging thing, writing down everything I’ve learned, researching new things and having a space to organise my thoughts.
More so because I find ‘real life’ quite lonely sometimes. I go to mums’ groups, to play groups, to coffee mornings and I am met with blank stares when I talk about why we don’t use some mainstream baby products, or the benefits of baby wearing or breastfeeding. Glazed over, sleep deprived eyes fill with concern when I mention co-sleeping, and looks of sheer ridicule often meet my cloth nappy choices.
Yet I keep going. I keep making the choices I do, and I keep writing about them, talking about them, sharing what I’ve learned. And the reason is simple: for every hundred voices of derision, one mother will come to me and say thank you.
Thank you for recommending I put my colicky baby on his belly, it helped almost immediately.
Thank you for the warning about that medicine â€“ he’s no longer hyperactive and his rash is gone too.
Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned about cloth nappies, it’s made the change so much easier for us.
My mother, a midwife who did not recommend a home water birth for a first time mother, now thinks it should be the only method of (uncomplicated) birth.
But the person it has affected most, which has made all the stares and sideways glances worth it, is my younger sister. The other day she said she hoped I’d be her birth partner, when the time comes, and my heart leapt with joy. She said she hoped I’d still be able to remember all these things about birth and consciously parenting my daughter, so that when her time comes, she can do them too. My joy overflowed.
Where it matters most, I have made a difference. And so I keep on writing and learning, and parenting against the flow.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Woman Seeking Inspiration â€” Seeking Mother’s struggles and joys to find her own path in motherhood have inspired others â€” to her surprise! (@seekingmother )
- Paving the Way â€” Jessica at This is Worthwhile makes a conscious effort every day to be a role model. (@tisworthwhile )
- No Rules Without Reason â€” The Recovering Procrastinator wants to inspire her husband to discipline their children gently. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Creating a Culture of Positive Parenting Role Models â€” Michelle at The Parent Vortex shows parents at the playground how to do a front wrap cross carry and tells nurses about her successful home births, as a way of modeling natural parenting in public. (@TheParentVortex)
- Making A Difference for Mamas â€” Shana at Tales of Minor Interest took an embarrassing pumping incident at work and turned it into an opportunity for all the employees who breastfeed.
- Inspiring Snowflakes â€” Joni Rae at Tales of Kitchen Witch Momma is a role model for the most important people: her children. (@kitchenwitch)
- Paying it Forward â€” Amber at Strocel.com inspires new (and often scared) mamas with these simple words: “It will be OK.” (@AmberStrocel)
- A SAHD’s View on Parenting Role Models â€” Chris at Stay At Home Dad in Lansing doesn’t have many role models as a SAHD â€” but hopes to be one to his daughter. (@tessasdad)
- Am I a Role Model? A Review â€” Deb at Science@home brings attachment parenting out of the baby age and shows how it applies (with science fun!) to parenting through all of childhood. (@ScienceMum)
- Say Something Good â€” Arwyn at Raising My Boychick reminds women that it is within our right to be proud of ourselves without apology. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Try, Try Again â€” Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis wants to inspire like the Little Engine that Could.
- I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew? â€” Sarah at OneStarryNight has received several beautiful comments about just what an inspiration she has been, if not in real life then definitely online. (@starrymom)
- That Little Thing â€” NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing demonstrates the ripple effect, one status update at a time. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
- How Has Your Day Been? â€” mrs green @ littlegreenblog inspired her friend to be an active listener for her children. (@myzerowaste)
- No, Thank You! â€” If you are reading Maman A Droit’s post, you’ve probably inspired her. (@MamanADroit)
- My Top 3 Natural Parenting Principles â€” Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now describes how her family’s natural and Montessori principles inspired others. (@DebChitwood)
- My Hope for a Better Life â€” Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children hopes her choices inspire her children toward a better life.
- Natural Parenting Felt Natural â€” Sheryl at Little Snowflakes didn’t plan on natural parenting â€” but her son led her there. (@sheryljesin)
- Rest. Is it even possible? â€” Janet at where birth and feminism intersect has found that even role models need rest â€” and that there are ways to fit it into everyday parenting life. (@feministbirther)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model â€” Lauren at Hobo Mama was the fortunate recipient of a seed of inspiration, and has been privileged to plant some of those seeds herself, though she didn’t know it at the time. (@Hobo_Mama)
- crunchspiration â€” the grumbles at grumbles and grunts wants to inspire others to parent from their heart. (@thegrumbles)
- No Extra Inspiration Required â€” Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return â€” except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak)
- Upstream Parenting â€” Luschka at Diary of a First Child blogs for that one mother in one hundred who will find her words helpful. (@diaryfirstchild)
- Parenting Advice for the Girl from Outer Space â€” If Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup could give one piece of inspirational advice to new parents, it would be to parent with kindness. (@MommySoup)
- Natural Parenting Carnival â€” Role Model â€” Sarah at Consider Eden feels the pressure at trying â€” and failing â€” to live up to her role models. (@ConsiderEden)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role Model â€” Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages natural parenting mamas to take joy in the fact that they are touching lives and making a difference to children every day. (@CodeNameMama)
- Inspiration Goes Both Ways â€” Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model â€” but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom)
- My Seven â€” Danielle at born.in.japan has identified seven role models in her life who brought her to natural parenting. Who are your seven? (@borninjp)
- A Quiet Example â€” Alison at BluebirdMama was one of the first parents in her group of friends â€” and has come to see almost all those friends follow in her natural birthing footsteps, whether intentionally or not.
- Gentle Discipline Warrior â€” Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has inspired a gentle discipline movement â€” join her! (@babydust)
- Change The World… One Parent At A Time â€” Mamapoekie is more comfortable inspiring parents online than she is in real life. (@mamapoekie)
- Inspirational Parenting â€” pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has intentionally tried to be a role model but was unprepared for how soon someone would take notice. (@pchanner)
- My Inspiration â€” Erin at A Beatnik’s Beat on Life has written thank-you letters to everyone who’s inspired her to become the lactivist and natural parenting advocate she is today. (@babybeatnik)