Memories Of My Mother

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Welcome to the December 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Childhood Memories

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about memories of growing up — their own or the ones they’re helping their children create. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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There’s nothing quite like the end of something to make you think about the beginning of it again. I lay on a thin hospital bed with my desperately skinny mother a few weeks ago, waiting for her to be wheeled into surgery so that a plug could be put into her abdomen so that she can drain the fluid that cancer is releasing into her body as it slowly squeezes the life out of her.

She was laughing, as she is prone to doing, as I had just said I was going to handcuff myself to the bed to make sure they had no choice but to allow me to go in to theater with her. They arrived, the porters ready to roll her in, and I buried my face in her chest, as I must have done so many times as a child, but haven’t done in my living memory. I buried my face so that she would not see the rush of tears to my eyes.

My mother always wanted to be better. She always wanted to improve herself, and to make the people who loved her proud. She is a fierce friend, honest to a fault, and sometimes tactless as a heart attack. She has the same heart she had 20 years ago, just with twenty years of life added to it.

I get my adventurous and sometimes chaotically spontaneous side from my mother. She once bundled us up on a hot and sunny day and drove us high up into the snow capped mountains to have pancakes on the side of the road, in the snow. I think that was the first time I ever saw snow, and I remember it so well.

She bought us water paint books and my sister and I sat in the warm rain ‘painting’ with the rain water.

Powerfailures weren’t dramas in our home… nope. They were opportunities for roasting marshmallows!

Things weren’t always rosy, and at times, money was tight. I remember once my dad was away with work and my mom took us to a local steak ranch. She had just enough money for 1 adult and three child buffet dinners, not a cent more. There wasn’t even money for drinks. I think the waiter took pity on us that night, because he delivered cokes to our table, even though we hadn’t ordered them and weren’t able to leave a tip – but what a treat eating out was!

My mom is a woman of amazing faith. Even now with the disease riddling her body, she is strong in her faith and her status updates on Facebook elicit comments of awe and amazement from her friends. Just this morning a mutual acquaintance told me my mother is a ‘picture of Victory’ even in the face of death. That’s quite something, and an amazing legacy to leave.

My mom worked as a nurse for many years, and there she showed her patients incredible care and compassion. She has sat by the bed of many a dying person, so we can’t even say that she doesn’t know what’s coming, hence the strength – nope… she has held the hands of dying people for three decades. And she’s prayed with many of them too.

This faith hasn’t just come in the face of death either. She’s always had it, and as a result our lives have been peppered with miracles. Like the time my brother fell of his bike and broke his collar bone. A friend of my mom stayed up all night praying for him, and the next day the doctor couldn’t find any trace of an injury. Or the time we were really broke and had nothing but potatoes in the house – someone (we still don’t know who) dropped off a months supply of groceries at our front door.

There’s a long list of things that have happened in our family that make faith almost a no-brainer. We’d have to be blind to not believe.

My mom has given up so much over the years, for the sake of her children, her family, her husband, and now when she should be taking back and getting back, that opportunity is not being afforded her. It’s sad, but sometimes life is sad.

Of course, most of us aren’t saints, and she has her foibles too, but in the face of the end of a thing, it’s good to look back at the beginning, and remember the good bits, emulate them, and remember the bad bits, and do them better. I am sure my own children will say the same, in years to come. I just hope that when they look back on my life, they remember more good than bad, and that they recognise with the hindsight and wisdom of adulthood the things my being there improved, and my being afforded them as I do when I remember my mother.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon December 11 with all the carnival links.)

  • Childhood Memories of Peace, Support, Joy, and Love — Amber at Heart Wanderings wants to make sure the majority of the memories that her children have as a part of their family are ones that are positive and help support the amazing people that they are now and will become as adults.
  • Hand Made Baby Books — Destany at They Are All of Me talks about why baby books are important to her for preserving memories of her childrens first years, and shows how she made one by hand for each child.
  • Can your childhood memories help you keep your cool?Here’s To A Boring Year uses memories of being a child to keep her on the path to peaceful parenting.
  • Inter-Generational Memories {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs at A New Day talks about her own childhood memories, and what she hopes her daughter will remember in the future.
  • Snapshots — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings reflects on the ways our childhood memories appear to us, and hopes her own daughter’s childhood will be one she remembers as being happy and fulfilled.
  • What makes the perfect parent? — In a guest post on Natural Parents Network, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog reflects on camp follow and camp no-follow…
  • In My Own Handwriting — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen talks about her journals and the hope that they will be able to keep her stories alive even if she isn’t able to.
  • Candlelight, fairylight, firelight — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud re-discovers the ingredients for bringing magic to life, especially at Christmas.
  • Making Memories (or) How We Celebrate Christmas — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis talks about creating new memories at Christmas, and the joy their adventures bring to her whole family.
  • The Importance of Recording Feelings and Emotions and Not Just the Experience — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares why she puts pen to paper every day to record more than just her experiences as a mother and her daughter’s experiences as a child. Jennifer looks at the importance of capturing feelings and emotions that accompany the experience.
  • Dredged up — Kenna at Million Tiny Things has been forced to recount childhood memories at bedtime, due to the failure of her middle-aged imagination. She resists, of course.
  • Crafting Memories — Handmade is what makes the holidays special for Christy at Eco Journey In the Burbs, and she wants to create the same connection with her daughters that she remembers with mother and grandmother.
  • My Childhood Memories; beacons of light in the darkness Stone Age Parent shares the impact of her childhood memories on her life as a parent today, listing some of her many rich childhood memories and how they now act as beacons of light helping her in the complex, often confusing world of child-rearing.
  • 10 Ways I Preserve Memories for My Children — From video interviews to time capsules, Dionna at Code Name: Mama wants to make sure her children have many different ways to cherish their childhood memories. Dionna’s carnival post features ten of the ways she preserves memories; check out her Pinterest board for more ideas.
  • Memories of my mother — Luschka at Diary of a First Child remembers her mother and the fondest moments of her childhood, especially poignant as she sits by her mother’s sickbed writing.
  • Creating Happy Childhood Memories through Family Traditions — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells why family traditions are so important to her and her family and shares how she’s worked to create traditions for her children.
  • Traditional Christmas Tree — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep remembers the great times spent with her family driving for the Christmas Tree and the lessons learned.
  • Wet Socks and Presents — Kat at MomeeeZen writes about her favorite Christmas childhood memory and why it’s so special. And she hopes one day her kids will also have a feel-good memory of their own to look back on.
  • Stuff does not equal memories — Lauren at Hobo Mama learns that letting go does not mean failing to remember.
  • A Child’s Loss- Will They Remember Dad? — Erica at ChildOrganics writes about their family’s loss of their husband and father. She trys to find answers to the question: Will they remember their Dad?
  • Childhood Memories – Hers and Mine — Jorje of Momma Jorje wished for her daughter the same passions and experiences she loved as a child, but learns the hard way to accept whatever passions strike in her child.
  • Holiday Non-TraditionsErika Gebhardt enjoys her family’s tradition of not having traditions for the holidays.

 

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20 thoughts on “Memories Of My Mother

  1. Pingback: Traditional Christmas Tree | Mamas Tribe
  2. Beautifully written Luschka. I’m sorry your family is going through this. Sending you hugs and prayers <3

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  3. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I type… I’ve been in your shoes, wishing to be rolled into surgery if only to keep her from being alone. Your post is an exquisite tribute to the woman who shaped you with her love and I wish you all the deepest peace.
    Laura’s last blog post ..In My Own Handwriting

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  4. Pingback: Snapshots | Radical Ramblings
  5. Sounds like you are all lucky: you to have such a mother and she to have such a daughter. Blessings to you in your journey.

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  6. You have wonderful memories of your mother in your heart forever. I can tell, through your writing, the impact your mother has had upon your own parenting. You sound like a wonderful daughter, too, and your mother is blessed to have you.
    Christy’s last blog post ..Crafting Memories

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  7. Such amazing memories of your mother that you can hold in your heart. I can tell through your writing the impact that she has had on your own parenting. Your mother is blessed to have you as a daughter, too. This is a loving tribute.

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  8. Lauren @ Hobo Mama

    Oh, Luschka. I’m crying reading this. What a lovely tribute to your mother — I hope you’re sharing it with her. Much love and peace to you all.
    Lauren @ Hobo Mama’s last blog post ..Stuff does not equal memories

    [Reply]

  9. What a beautiful post that bought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing such an amazing insight into your mother’s life and for letting us share this heart-warming part with you. Your mother should be proud for having such a wonderful daughter too :)

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  10. Pingback: Hybrid Rasta Mama: The Importance of Recording Feelings and Emotions and Not Just the Experience
  11. What a tribute to your mother. I hope she reads this and knows what a wonderful daughter she has, too :)

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  12. So precious. Made me tear up. May you be even more aware of how close God holds you in this season.

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  13. Pingback: December 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Holiday Non Traditions « Erika Gebhardt

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