A Thank You Note To The Mama Who “Makes Me Feel Bad”

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Dear Mommy, Mummy, Mama

Yes, you, Pinterest mom with your amazing photos, your tidy house and your fabulous ideas. You who sees a craft in every story, a game in every chore and an opportunity for gratitude in every unpaid bill. You who goes to the gym, does dancercize and fits into your pre-babies jeans. You, who cooks from scratch, eats clean, and has a raw repertoire. Whose children eat cauliflower pizza base and beetroot coloured icing, and yes, you who works to support your family and still finds the time to remember your girlfriends’ fifth child’s third birthday. All of you, this is a note to say thank you!

Thank you for your wonderful ideas. Thank you for the inspiration you send my way. Thank you for being the foundation I can build ideas for my home and my family on. Thank you for turning this non-crafty mama into a story time machine. Thank you for sharing your inspirations and showing me what you are capable of and therefore what I may be capable of too!

Thank you for the smiles as your naughty elf  gets up to mischief or as your kindness elf opens up a channel for conversation. Thank you for the silly pictures of your super cute offspring doing daft things that remind me that my 4 year old needs a giggle after doing her writing ‘work’ and that my one year old isn’t likely to destroy my pots and pans if she uses them for stacking cups.

Thank you thank you thank you for sharing your struggles, your joys, your every day and your once in a blue moon. Thank you for making me feel bad challenging me to be less lazy, to pick a few things up and to try a new activity. To switch off the TV and hand over the glitter pots.

Thank you for making me feel bad by doing such amazing activities highlighting those areas that I need to be more proactive and making me feel bad for not creating certain rituals for opening my eyes to things I never even knew existed. Thank you for making me feel bad by working out five days a week helping me prioritise what’s important to me.

Thank you for helping me realise that you doing what you do to the very best of your abilities isn’t an indictment on me. It’s just you celebrating your strengths as I compare, identify and then celebrate mine! And also for showing me that you can’t make me feel anything, and I own my feelings and should take responsibility for them rather than blaming you for being great.

I hope to never steal your achievements from you by calling what you do for your self and your family “showing off”, or a competition. No, dear mama, I celebrate your victories, and hope you celebrate mine because heaven knows we have enough failures without having to break each other down.

You are perfect in your way, in your latest post, that Facebook update, the photo you tweeted, you have showcased the best of you. Thank you for sharing it with me and thank you for providing the inspiration and motivation to showcase the best of me too.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

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17 thoughts on “A Thank You Note To The Mama Who “Makes Me Feel Bad”

  1. Joanna

    Beautiful post Luschka. I think I’m slowly getting to the point of noticing what I do do for my kids and getting over the feeling bad about not doing all those things that Facebook suggests I should be doing. It’s difficult though! xx

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    Luschka Reply:

    I recommend reading ‘What Mothers Do’ by Naomi Stadlen. It will show you exactly what you do every day and alleviate any feeling bad!

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  2. Pingback: Off the Mat: How Young Children Benefit from Yoga | Yoga Mamas | Yoga Studio in Brighton and Hove
  3. Susan Clemens

    FYI I repost ideas on Pinterest, but that doesn’t mean I do them all!

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    Luschka Reply:

    gosh! I don’t know if anyone could! Pinterest is a gold mine :)

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  4. Yes to all of this!!! Thanks for making me think twice :) We all need a moment to turn things around sometimes, you’ve reminded me to see the positives and stop judging myself for a change. xo

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    Luschka Reply:

    Absolutely! I know that I’m not by nature crafty or artistic or any of those things, so if my kids had to wait for me to come up with it all, they’d have boring lives. I’m most grateful for those who’ve gone before and very happy to let them show me the way :)

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  5. I almost didn’t read this because of the title. So glad I read it anyway. Definitely shared, too… pinterest and facebook. Thank you so much for this post. I agree completely!
    Tori’s last blog post ..A Little More on Expectations

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    Luschka Reply:

    Thanks so much for sharing Toni! I’m glad you read it too :) I think mamas who do put in the effort deserve every bit of glory they get!

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  6. Oh wow. Love, love, love, love this! I have had a run of feeling inadequate at everything I do recently and then I have opened up about that to other mums (the ones I feel I can ‘admit’ that to) and they have told me that they can’t believe how much I do and that I seem to do it so well. I never ever ever feel like I do it well (especially the mum thing) and I think so many of us feel that way.

    You are one of my pedestal mums to whose mothering heights I aspire and never feel I reach, but I do still love the glimpses I catch of you and your life and I often take a little something away that may help me be or do a little better, for a little bit.

    This is such a lovely post – thank you!
    Tasha Goddard’s last blog post ..How do you teach children morality?

    [Reply]

    Luschka Reply:

    Thank you Tasha! We all have that I think. I know I spend a lot of time NOT thinking I’m a very great mama and wishing I could do better – usually by adding hours to the day!

    I am touched by being a ‘pedestal’ mama, though I say that with a smile of my face because I rarely feel it!

    We are what we are though, and I reckon if we walk around filled with guilt, our children won’t see the reasons, just us being miserable! I want more than that for my babies!

    [Reply]

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